April Fools Shakedown, 1979

Old School Foolproof Nostalgia

• Happy April Fools Day, no kidding!

Imagine my thrill, 42 years ago, to be taking up the back page of Denver’s newest independent icon, Westword in their issue No. 16, dated March 30 - April 13,1979. Billy Corgan’s favorite year.

For this attempt at a mural cartoon, I found 56 events that had only the date they occurred in common. Arranged in no order, I then drew them happening at once during a day in the park. Point being, anything can happen On All Fools Day. No matter how far you get, scroll to the bottom to find some Denver rentals from the ads printed on the other. Big shout out to Patricia Calhoun for picking this up in the second year of publication!

1. Computers on board Mariner X believe they have sighted a moon circling Mercury. The object turns out to be a distant star, 4/1/1974 

2. Pope Pius IV tries to escape from Napoleon 4/1/1799.

3. In the current issue of Ladies Home Journal, the editors describe a twenty room Dutch Colonial residence which can be built anywhere in the United States for $5,000, 4/1/1896. 

4. Communist blockade of Berlin, Germany begins, 4/1/1948. 

5. American armed forces and a naval armada of 1,400 vessels begin the invasion of Okinawa, 4/1/1945.

6. Cincinnati, Ohio starts the first paid Fire Department in the U.S., 4/1/1853. 

7. Chicago Mayor Richard Daley wins an unprecedented sixth four year term 4/1/1975.

8. Pere David becomes the first white man to see a giant panda, 4/1/1869.🐼 

9. A con man in New Delhi fabricates and sells tickets for a concert featuring Elvis Presley and Louis Armstrong, then makes off with the gate receipts, 4/1/1967. 💰💴

10. “The Ballad of Davy Crockett” tops Billboard's Top 100, 4/1/1955. 

11. William Harvey, first observer of blood circulation, is born, 4/1/1578. 

12. President Nixon is reported to have a $250,000 mortgage payment due on San Clemente, 4/1/1974. 

13. American painter Edwin Abbey is born, 4/1/1852. 

14. Players' demands for more pension money brings on the first strike in the 103 year history of the game, 4/1/1972. ⚾️

15. First woman in history to be signed by an all male team, 19-year-old Jackie Mitchell takes the mound for the Chattanooga,Tennessee team, 4/1/1931.

16. Archibald Armstrong, noted court jester to two English kings, is buried, 4/1/1672..

17. First sale of an automobile, 4/1/1898.

18. Otto von Bismarck, the Iron Chancellor of Germany, born, 4/1/1815.

19. The United States formally recognizes the government of Generalissimo Francisco Franco following the Spanish Civil War, 4/1/1939.

20. William Benton, publisher of the Encyclopedia Britannica, is born, 4/1/1900.📚

21. President Johnson announces that he will not seek re-election, 4/1/1968.

22. “Tequila” by the Champs is the nation’s number one song, 4/1/1958.

23. Anthelme Brillat-Savarin, French writer on gastronomy, born 4/1/1755.

24. Patti Page’s “How Much Is That Doggie in the Window?” tops the Hit Parade, 4/1/1953.🐕

25. American actress Ali McGraw born 4/1/1959.

26. Frankie Avalon’s single “Venus” hits #1, 4/1/1959.

27. Russian composer Sergei Rachmaninov born, 4/1/1873.

28. The Blue Angel, starring Marlene Dietrich, premieres in Berlin, 4/1/1930.

29. The report of the gold discovery in California is mailed to New York, 4/1/1848.

30. Lt. William Calley is sentenced to life imprisonment, Ft. Benning, Georgia, 4/1/1971.

31. S/Sgt. Barry Sadler’s first and only hit, “The Ballad of the Green Berets,” takes over the number one spot, 4/1/1966. (It tied as the number one song of the year with the Mamas and Papas “California Dreamin’.”

32. Edmond Rostand, French author of Cyrano de Bergerac, is born 4/1/1868

33. American entertainer Debbie Reynolds born, 4/1/1932. 

34. Almost a month after its first meeting, the House of Representatives is able to conduct business. First action is to elect Augustus C. Muhlenberg as Speaker, 4/1/1789. 

35.Surrealist Max Ernst dies in Paris at the age of 85. 

36.The Beatles replace “She Loves You”with “Can't Buy Me Love” as the number one hit, 4/1/1964.

37. Richard Zsigmondy, German chemist and 1925 Nobel Prize winner, born 4/1/1865. 

38. American Actor Lon Chaney born, 1883.

39. “Happy Together” by the Turtles tops the Top 40, 4/1/1967. 🐢

40. Secretary of State Seward, a disappointed aspirant for the Presidency, submits to President Lincoln a memorandum entitled “Some Thoughts for the President’s Consideration,” in which he offers to take over running the government, 4/1/1861. 

41. American actor Wallace Beery is born, 4/1/1889.. 

42. Delaware rejects the Woman Suffrage Amendment, 4/1/1922. 

43. Lillian Hellman's Watch on the Rhine premieres on Broadway, 4/1/1941. 

44. Final installment of the serialization of Uncle Tom’s Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe appears in the National Era, 4/1/1852. 

45. A twenty megaton hydrogen bomb weighing 2,800 pounds sinks in the mud off the coast of Spain while the U.S.Navy is attempting to recover it, 4/1/1966.

46. Secretary of Agriculture Ezra Taft Benson, disregarding the fact Wisconsin cheese distributors have arranged to sell the government 90 million pounds of cheese at 37 cents per pound, drops the price support level on dairy products from 90 to 75 per cent parity. Distributors repurchase the title to their product at 34.5 cents per pound, realizing a $2.2 million profit on cheese that never left the warehouse, resulting in "The Great Cheese Scandal,” 4/1/1953.🧀

47. Tight end Don Hasselbeck born, 4/1/1955.

48. Mr. Lion receives 224 telephone calls at the Cincinnati Zoo, 4/1/1972. 

49. New diggings begin at Pompeii, 4/1/1748. 

50. Turkish ship Asian wrecked in the Red Sea, 4/1/1901. 

51. The novel Jaws is number one paperback in the nation, 4/1/1975. 

52. Several great race horses were born April first, among them Great Contractor (1973), Piece of Heaven (1975), and Cynthia's Whistle (1975). 🐎

53. Eldridge Cleaver buys a $100,000 home in the affluent community of Los Altos, California, 4/1/1977. 

54. A total of 37 tornadoes rip through the midwest, 4/1/1969. 

55. The Royal Air Force is founded in Great Britain, 4/1/1918.. 

56. Tiros I,  a weather satellite, is launched, 4/1/1960

Mike Flanagan is the author of the Denver Trivia Map

Originally published in Westword No. 16, March 30 - April 13, 1979

Westword classifieds, March 30 - April 13, 1979

“The past is a blast.”