A Series of Unfortunate Halloween Ads
The Devil Made Me Buy It
Toward the midpoint of the last century, the leaves began changing colors just before Labor Day. Snorkels and swim fins were tossed into the sale bin. Out came the plastic pumpkins and witch hats. In New York, where the Mad Men toiled in their skyscraper laboratories, fresh ideas on how to sell liquor, cigarettes, and underwear, all in the name of All Hallows’ Eve,
What evolved was a mish mosh of attempts to pry Leave It to Beaver or Bad Seed families from their dollars, all in the name of evil spirits and tummy aches. Enjoy this trip into haunted suburbia! Don’t talk to any clowns in the gutter!
“Durwood gets so kinky at Halloween. Still, I best not scare him off.”
“Mommy? Why is Lucy touching my face with her tongue?”
Poor Karen drove all over town trying to find mentholated candy corn.
You know… let’s not. The Weeny Witch is bad enough. But “stunts” and “party suggestions” for “skinless wieners”? Pass.
The true spirit of the season. Who needs makeup when you can get lit with Blatz?
“It’s only a game, Frank. The guys at the Alpha house make a target and toss you toward it. It’ll be fun!”
Milky Way, encouraging stalking since 1954!
Okay, we’re going with a different concept. Let’s move underwear to Christmas.
“But Mommy! The other kids have Trick or Treat bags. My candy will smell like cigars.”
Little Danny found all these new friends Trick or Treating at the Overlook.
Standard equipment on all new Edsels!
Jello and vodka. A Halloween tradition is born.
Oh crap, we got tricked!
“If we drink enough beer, even Ted Nugent sounds good.”
Basic Instinct costume, big deal in the 90s!
